You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
