Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
