Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
