we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
