North Korea, Best Korea!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
birth control should be required to get into college
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
