there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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