the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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