I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
