At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
