are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
