just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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