I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
