yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
