nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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