Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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