brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
