I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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