Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
