you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize