Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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