Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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