Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
