Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
