Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
