captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
