so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
