I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
