just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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