porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I didn't notice because vodka
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
