NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
