Do vagina's smell?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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