Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
