it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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