You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
