Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
