apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
