So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
