Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
