If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
