I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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