This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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