i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
