I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
