my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
