I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
