when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
sarcasm needs its own font
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
