Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
