New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
how drunk are you?
Several
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
