Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
