oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This baby is an asshole
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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